Motherhood

As many of you know, I am a family girl and am in love with my family, even though they can drive me crazy at times! And, I do mean CRAZY, haha. The family values I have were started when I was growing up in beautiful Hawaii.  Family gatherings, functions, dinners, parties; whatever you want to call them, my life was filled with them. In Hawaii, family ties are tight…it is a way of life. It’s about the 3F’s;  Family, Food and Fun.   While I only have 2 brothers, my family is pretty large. Upon my grandmother’s passing a few years ago, we calculated her branches she housed.  My grandmother had 4 children and those 4 children gave her 16  grandchildren, 43 great grandchildren and 23 great great grandchildren. [chuckle] That means my little grandmother, who was all of 5 feet tall was responsible for 86 human beings. Now, these are all my blood relatives on my mother’s side only. If you factor in my father’s family tree, that is a whole different ball of wax. Since this post is about mothers, I will leave my father’s “branches” off for this post. I wanted to establish how big of a family  I have and how important the family life is to me. Now that I have done that, let me write a little about motherhood.

I always believed and still do believe that children are gifts, a true miracle. When a woman conceives and creates life within herself, it is nothing shy of a miracle. Yet, this miracle is often overshadowed by poor motherhood and it often upsets me to see innocent children brought into a world without the right nurturing parent. I often joke that you should have to take a test to become a mother, because while making them can be challenging for some,  it is not the hardest part to being a mother and I’ve seen my fair share of mothers who could use some help on  how to be a better parent. Becoming a mother is a life changing event. Mothers must guide, teach, nurture, sacrifice and mold children to become striving successful adults. It doesn’t stop when they are potty trained, when they can walk, when they become 18 or when they move out on their own. It never stops.  I really do think there should be a class that every mother should take BEFORE having children to learn how to sacrifice, understand how to motivate, how to discipline and correct and most importantly how to love them.  Loving a child is not just saying you love them or buying them a new toy or the latest cool gadget. Loving them often means sacrifice and pain. Yes, I did say pain because there are times when a mother must do things that hurt them, BUT serve in the best interest in the child. Words are cheap, anyone can say “I love you”, but it’s when the love is shown and expressed that really counts. Remember the old cliche; “actions speak louder than words”.

At this day and age, where divorce is very common, children are often and frequently left to be raised by a single parent. It is not nearly uncommon like it was years and years ago, during the Leave it to Beaver days. If a child is raised in a home filled with love, guidance, support and structure, you are golden. I am in awe of some of the most amazing single mothers out there in this world. One in particular that I have high regards for is Debbie Phelps, single mother of Olympian Michael Phelps, who broke an Olympic record by winning 8 Gold Medals in Bejing during the 2008 summer olympics. She had a rough divorce and 3 children to raise on her own, one with ADHD. She threw that little ADHD child in the swimming pool at the age of 6 and he became the Olympian now admired by millions. She did it on her own and she succeeded.  There were no excuses, just solid parenting. Tiki Barber was raised with his twin brother in a low income housing project by his single mother, who worked THREE jobs and sacrificed a lot to ensure her two sons would get the most out of life. Tiki graduated valedictorian and both he and his brother had successful careers in the NFL. Both playing in the Superbowl. He wrote a book called, Tiki: My life in the game and beyond.   There are many other great stories of single mothers who raised successful children on their own. I applaud and praise them for making society a better place and not using being fatherless as an excuse. Everyone of those women have my utmost respect. It goes to show you what a great mother can do for her child and that it CAN be done without a man.

This isn’t to take anything away from those women who are married and have the support of a husband and father. Not at all. Kudos to all the great married mothers too!  While no mother is perfect and many have flaws, including mine [still love you mom!], it is important to do your best to raise  your children to succeed in life and nurture them not just through childhood, but through life.  The foundation you lay for your offsprings will determine the type of life they live and values they posses. Teach them how to have respect, how to give, how to share and how to love.
Teach them how to be positive, how to create good things in life.  Motherhood is tough, it is a challenge and a sacrifice; but it is most rewarding when you know you raised a well balanced and successful child that will have a very fulfilled life with some sort of structure and balance. Plus it makes for great Thanksgiving dinners!  I think Oprah said it best when she said “being a mother is the toughest job out there…if done right!”

I thought I would end this post from a session I did of the Katz family. Here is one of my favorites, it is Dori and her son Maguire. I think you can feel the love and emotions through this image. It’s timeless. I will post that session soon, but for now, enjoy this image of motherhood.

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